Past.Present.Future

Bros Before Hoes.

2012-01-21T22:13:00.002+08:00

seriously, what the fuck is going on? i mean, im practically living all alone right now. my weekends used to be all fun and filled with adventures. but, right now, both my best friends are attached and im left stone cold and alone in this world.

a few years back when i was in an awesome relationship, they were the ones who told me," dont forget about us", "make sure you put bros before hoes" and all that kinda crap. now, they are in their own relationships. not so easy now is it? i wouldnt know how to react if you did read this. but, seriously, i am truly affected ah. the few people that were always there for me are now all gone.

Turn Of Events.

2010-12-13T14:55:00.002+08:00

Well, since A's ended, things have drastically changed. some for better, some for worse.
Driving, and some other stuffs have been awesome for me.
But, somehow, i feel lost, unappreciated, like my existance doesnt matter to anyone.
Its like i can just disappear and everyone will live their lives normally.
Its as if i have never meant anything to anyone.
Nobody looks for me no more. nobody drops a text to ask me how im doing no more.
nobody calls and asks me to hang out no more. well, maybe its just life as a single during holidays that i've not experienced for quite some time.
but, seriously, fuck sia. Things just had to go from bad to worse with me falling sick, rat running into my room, dad screaming at me in the middle of the night cause of my messy room.
Maybe a disappearing act would be good for me right now.
Wait. I am already invisible.
Im not expecting anyone to read this or even do something after reading this. cause then they'd be doing it for the sake of doing it. I'll get better o my own. its just a matter of getting used to it.
Music hasnt really helped much either. haizz..

Well, i can choose to emo out all day long if i want to, but i know that its not going to do me any good. i just wanted to let out my feelings that i can no longer pour out to anyone right now. once again, this is Lim NH, signing out.

Goodbye.

2010-10-11T18:02:00.003+08:00

so i tried.
tried to be what i used to be.
tried to be the man.
i tried to do all i can.
i wish i could turn back the hands of time.
and find out what went wrong.
but i know that this is meant to be.

so this is hard for me to say.
but,
goodbye... goodbye.. goodbye..

i know that i'll learn from all my mistakes.
but its too late to change and now its time to walk away.

so, goodbye..
just know that this is hard for me
thing are just not the same.
everytime i hear your name,
i wanna scream out loud.

i dont know what is left to me
but what we have is now a memory
eventhough i know this is hard for me.
but, goodbye.

it hurts to have to leave.
but who am i to say we aren't meant to be?
our love started with hello.
and ends with this GOODBYE. ('=

Fuck This.

2010-09-29T18:27:00.002+08:00

who woulda thought i'd have to make so many carrer deciding decisions at such an age? who woulda thought that i'd have to handle my life on my own? who woulda thought that everything would just crumble down on me when i need them the most? who woulda thought that i would crumble on myself? who woulda thought that the girl i thought was 'the one' for me would never love me again? who woulda thought that i'm still standing after such an ordeal?

NOBODY.

life is just such a winding road with loads of junctions, turns, bumps and even pot-holes. but, sometimes we gotta realise that which route we take doesnt really matter. what ,matters most is that we get where we want to. eventually. most importantly, soak in the sights, sceneries and sounds we experience along the way. Live Life.

yours sincerely,
Lim ah Lim.

I'm Guilty

2010-09-18T11:05:00.003+08:00

I never want to play the games that people play
I never want to say the things they gotta say
I've found everything i need
I never wanted anymore than i can see
I only want you to believe

If it's wrong to tell the truth,
Then what am i supposed to do?
When all i wanna do is speak my mind..
If it's wrong to do what's right,
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with ALL my heart's a crime,
Then i'm guilty.

I wanna give you all the things you never had.
Dont try to tell me how he treats you isn't bad.
I need you back in my life
I never wanted just to be the other guy.
I never wanted to live a lie.

If its wrong to tell the truth,
Then what am i supposed to do?
When all i wanna do is speak my mind
If its wrong to do what's right,
I'm prepared to testify.
If loving you with ALL my heart's a crime.
Then I'M GUILTY.

I miss you. :'(

2010-09-06T07:30:00.000+08:00

Drifted Apart.

2010-09-01T18:01:00.002+08:00

I swear, i have never missed anyone this much in my whole life. =( but, i know its for my own good. and, it has helped a little.. no more long phone calls, no more long hour meet-ups, no more fights, no more distractions. exactly what i aimed for.

but, why do i still feel like crap? isnt this supposed to help me?
haizz..

as days pass, we are growing further and further apart..
i know she doesnt ask for much. (just friends)
but, its too difficult for me.
everytime i see her, i think of what we had, and what we can have..
its a damn bloody sucky feeling lah..
and, she actually still said before we parted that i can still hold her hand..
haha.. and, how is that not supposed to let me raise my hopes?

haizz.. there's just so much for me to say.. but, there's just nobody i can really speak to about this.. i guess i'll just have to swallow all this on my own..

well, at least i know she has someone who really cares for her standing by her side now.. (probably even loves her)

upsettingly glad.

p.s, the little toungue at the back of my throat, (my uvula) swelled up to twice its size today. and, im still fasting although it hurts like f*ck. didnt even bother to see the doctor. haha.. on a normal day, i would use this as an excuse to take m.c haha..

Unimportant.

2010-08-08T21:25:00.003+08:00

well.. here's my first blog in a bloody long time..
i know i said i only wanna post debateable issues on my blog.. but, screw that motive.. i think right now, i'd rather talk to my blog than anyone else.. so. here it goes..

well.. i asked her out to watch fireworks yesterday.. and she said, see how first k? not sure how things would go. (take note, to my knowledge, i was the first to ask her out among the other guys). but then, when i asked her again just now, she said that her other friend also asked her out.. based on my knowledge, she works on a first come first served kinda system. but screw that.. well, like i said.. i asked her again and she said she didnt know who to go with. how amazing? and i played the 'good guy role' and said that it was her decision and that she is not obliged to go out with me coz im no longer hers anymore.. but, deep down, i think everyone would know how hurt i felt when she actually considered going out with him when i already asked her out.. that aside.. she made her decision.

SHE DECIDED TO GO OUT WITH HIM.

how awesome is that.. i mean.. now his feelings are more important than mine? his presence is more important than mine? she would rather please a friend she just got to know better than to spend the evening with me?

i know.. im not hers anymore.. im not her top priority anymore.. but, why?
she claims he's just a friend..
she claims she has no feelings for him.
but, why is it so important that she meets him every week?
why must she make it a point to go out with him everytime he asks her out?
seriously, besides feeling unimportant right now, i seriously feel like
CRAP. total piece of crap..
sure, you take me in.. i provide you with all your essentials to keep you going.
i give you the strength to get through your hard times.
but, just as i decide to leave because my time is up,
i pass right out and you dont even want to look at me anymore.
i know i shouldnt be feeling this way.. but, seriously, i cant help it.
i really thought she would hold true to her word of, "if you wanna go out with me, you have to make a booking first.. whoever makes the booking first gets top priority."
WHAT ON EARTH IS SHE DOING NOW? GIVING OTHER GUYS THE PRIORITY WHEN I WAS THE ONE WHO 'BOOKED' HER FIRST?
seriously. CRAP.

Missing You.

2009-10-19T01:49:00.002+08:00

Hey baby.. darn.. i don't know where to start... hmmmmm...
well, like the title says, i'm missing you dear. alot. though i'm enjoying myself here, its just not the same without you...
the food doesn't taste as good..
my sleep not as peaceful without you near,
basically, what people describe as love sick. =S
luckily for me though, i have my camera. =)
been looking at your pics over and over..
and, my phone, my source of dark videos.. very dark indeed. =P
well, cause i was thinking of you, i decided to buy you some stuff. =) happy kan? hee.
i tried uploading pictures but my bro's internet connection here damn weak. =((
so, can't really provide you with those....
though, i can provide you with this...

you're my one and only squirrel, believe it or not..
many don't believe me, but i think you're so darn hot.
but you rarely show yourself, cause you're in love with little mr teapot.
so many go hunting for you,and take it as a sport.

and, when you do appear out of the dark,
it seems you've ignited a wonderful bright spark.
that very spark which gets me attracted to the park. =P
so, when i do come back home, why don't you just give me a hug?

i hate the fact that i had to go,
but its just my obligations, i hope you know.
so i pray for those tears never to flow,
and even if they do, please don't let it show..

i love you dear. see you soon. :)
muackxz.
love,
Mr Lim Bearsrul Hakim.
hee.

Just For You.

2009-04-16T21:34:00.002+08:00

never ever hate someone,
especially when you've met him just once.
to you, he may be no one,
but to him, you're all that he wants.

confessions that he made,
by giving you some clues.
asking you out on dates,
somehow took away all the blues.

giving you a bracelet which was 'hand-made' by him,
rang some bells, he hoped it did.
gave you a keychain which reminded you of him,
confessed his love, he was sure it did. :)

love you. :)

Simplicity.

2009-03-19T09:34:00.002+08:00

Seriously, just close your eyes and imagine for a second.
imagine that we were all still living in the stone age.
no worries about education, phone bills, utility bills, road tax? insurance?
i wouldn't have to be stressing about school exams and just live day to day minding my own business.
most of all, no worries GLOBAL WARMING. (: and the fact that i have to crack my brains out thinking about what to blog. lol.
even if we weren't in the stone age, all i ask for is to lead a simple life.

appreciate. its the least you can do.

2009-02-21T19:23:00.002+08:00

Friends are like stars
You rarely see them but they’re always there
Through thick and thin they’ll be with you
Through ups and downs they’ll stay with you

Should you ever shed your tears,
They’ll be with you
If you ever were to face your fears
They’ll face it with you

It’s hard to earn a good friend
Someone who’d stay forever
A person who’d walk with you till life’s end
Someone who’d adorned your grave with flowers

Should you ever shed your tears,
They’ll be with you
If you ever were to face your fears
They’ll face it with you

True friends don’t come and go
They’ll stay no matter what
Should they ever want to leave, they’ll let you knowFriends like you and I, we’ll never part.

dedicated to those who have been with me through thick and thin. haha..you people know who you are... lol.

oklah oklah... i shall mention them. lol.
(if not later they bingit. lol.)

AMELIA.
AZZAHRA.
SYARINA.
AMBROSE.

thanks for being there guys. really appreciate it.
all i have to say is.. whatever it is, you guys are the bomb yaw! haha...

Awesomest Celebration.

2009-02-21T19:11:00.003+08:00

i know i said that my blog was gonna be about debatable issues. well, here's an exception. well. here it goes...

I HAD AN AWESOME GROUP OF FRIENDS WHO HELD A MOST AWESOME BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION EVER. seriously, it was god damn great. at least its the most memorable. well, got RANDOM gifts from MEL. haha... included my fave stuff... especially the PILOT stuff... lol.
the highlight of the gifts, A BOX OF CONDOMS. haha! not regular condoms. but ultra thin. lol. 0.03mm siol! hahahahaha....

well, its the first time i felt that there are people out there who really cared about me and want to make my 18th birthday an awesome one. i really really appreciate it guys... thanks! welll, credits to MEL, ZZA, RINN and last but not least, HAFIZ. i would love to post some pics... but....... ZZA HAVEN'T SENT IT TO ME YET!. lol...

have lots more to say. but, it was really an awesome way to lighten up my week... once again.. thank you for the awesomest b'day celebration ever!

being in the backseat.

2009-02-07T16:15:00.003+08:00

seriously. i know that all of you have at least done something wonderful and have not been recognised for doing it. well, here's a tip. whenever you do something for someone, thank him or her, with a tinge of sarcasm. this will trigger his/her guilty conscience, if they have one. i seriously hate it when these people ask for favours and don't appreciate whet's been dont for them. not to say that i like the glory and fame and whatsoever. but, c'mon.. at least show a form of courtesy coz the next time you ask the same person to do a favour, he/she might just be more willing to do it. so, those asking for favours, remember COURTESY. and those doing the favours, REMIND THEM. haha that's all i have to say for now.
till next time, this is Lim. N.H

I Am Here For A Higher Purpose.

2009-02-02T22:25:00.002+08:00

I AM THE WIND.
ON LAND, NO BLADE OF GRASS MOVES WITHOUT ME.
AT SEA, EVERY RISING WAVE IS TOUCHED BY ME.
WHEREVER YOU ARE, I AM HIGH ENOUGH TO SEE YOU.
AND STRONG ENOUGH TO REACH OUT TO YOU.
AND PLACE STRENGTH IN YOUR HAND.
YOU MAY NOT ALWAYS SEE ME.
BOT YOU'LL ALWAYS FEEL ME.

FOR I'M HERE FOR A HIGHER PURPOSE.

DEBATE.

2009-01-30T22:44:00.000+08:00

Motion: This House Believes that Progressive Societies SHOULD Legalise Organ Trading.

Proposition:
I believe, that by legalising organ trading, would provide more protection to both the donor and the recipient. this is due to the fact that there would be a 'non-existent' middle man who might actually swindle both parties. furthermore, by legalising organ trading, both parties can legally go to proper hospitals for proper procedures. this would therefore increase the survival rate of both parties.

furthermore, this would provide those with kidney failure with a new lease of life without going through the hassle of waiting for a donor. however, this organs would only be affordable to the filthy rich people. well, that's precisely my point. since they are rich, they have a big part to play in the economy. hence, letting them live longer might actually bring good economic benefits.

Opposition:
However, i feel that this should not be the case.
living in a progressive society implies that people are generally being more diversed in their beliefs and hence adopt different religions. many countries world wide have multi-racial and multi-religion citizens. knowing this, Islam and Christianity are the two religions which believe that our body is a gift from god. therefore, we should not alter it when we are alive to the best we can. others, however, feel that it is fine. now, when a government legalises the trading, who are their citizens supposed to trust and follow? their religion? or the law? now, this would cause unrest within society itself due to the conflict of beliefs.

Lets just say, that this TRADING INDUSTRY, is legalised. once legalised, definitely commercialised. onced commercialised, there would definitely be a fixed price on each organ. now, how do you actually slap a price tag on something so valuable? furthermore, are you trying to say that you can actually "buy" your life? saying that you can pay $75 000 to live for another say, 7 years? does life really have a value? or, is it so precious that you should never place a price on it, or in that case, ANY of your organs?

well, i'll leave it to you to decide. heppy scrutinising. haha

Lim. N.H.

Dilemma.

2009-01-27T22:55:00.002+08:00

Ok people... today, i met a guy who works in a refueling station at Changi Airport. Got info that 300 SIA pilots were asked to go on a NO-PAY LEAVE. damn. well, currently, i'm with the SYFC ( singapore youth flying club) and hence, i'm looking at a job prospect like say, a pilot with either the RSAF or SIA. Ok. Here's the deal. Currently, there aren't that many Muslim Fighters in the RSAf, if there are any at all... so, my dream of being one of the few muslims in singapore to travel twice the speed of sound are really slim. looking at SIA, the guy i met said that a first officer with SIA earns about 13K a month ( including travel allowance), however, this job is vulnerable to the economic conditions. the RSAF is free from all these economic crisis shits but chances are slim. if i do join the RSAF, i risk becoming a transport pilot. eeeww... SIA captaincy takes at least 8 yrs of flying experience. by then, my pay will be wooohhhooo!! haha... i know i still have another 2 years till N.S to decide, but, i want re-assurance... haha. help anyone?

Heritage.

2009-01-26T23:40:00.003+08:00

As many of you may know, today is CNY. and as most of you know, i'm chinese. and being a decendant from chinese ancestrates, i celebrate chinese new year. i do not know how many of you chinese out there feel this way, but, i feel that we only celebrate our heritage once a year. do you really think it is enough to so called,"preserve" our heritage? i doubt so. personally, i feel that our "culture" is fading away. and i'm not only refering to my chinese heritage, but also my malay heritage. i mean, cmon, i went visiting just now, and the teens nowadays no longer wear their traditional costumes. instead, they're wearing t-shirts and jeans(as if they were visiting their friends) to visit their older relatives. there's no spirit in that sense now is there? all i'm saying is that, since these festive seasons come only once a year, let me just urge all of you to just respect tradition( if it doesn't kill or hurt, its fine lah) and just go woth the flow of the festival itself. well, that's all i have for today. good night ya'll and have a pleasant day ahead.

Signing off, Lim N.H.

Eve of the Eve of CNY.

2009-01-24T21:57:00.002+08:00

Damn spring cleaning. Damn Singaporeans who don't freaking know simple courtesy.
oh well, i guess that's not what the world's about. hah. anyways, had my reunion dinner. AWESOME STUFF. honestly, i don't think it was necessary coz i meet my relatives every Saturday night, but, somehow, the vibe of CNY reunions are a little more awesome. shagged out by spring cleaning, but it was all worth it. haha
anyways, back to the ugly singaporean.
i went marketing for reunion stuff this morn (weird? i know. niwaes, moving on). after grabbing my stuff, i went to queue (and natural tendency is to stand behind the last person. right?). suddenly, this arsehole tapped my shoulder and said, or rather insulted me by saying," OI! YOU BLIND AH? CANNOT SEE THAT I'M IN THE QUEUE AH?"
well, actually what he was refering to was the basket which he had placed by the side of the aisle. thank god i was a patient muslim. honestly, i felt like kicking his basket away and saying,"now its not in the queue. so, what're you gonna do about it?"
and i swear to god, if he had touched me, i would have muay thaied his head till his eyes got freaking swollen. then i'll ask," now who's blind?" hah.
anyways, i just gave him a glare that even i would've been afraid of. and just walked off to the back of the queue. damn ugly singaporeans. what happened to courtesy?

First.

2009-01-23T18:55:00.001+08:00

ok. well, its my first post. haha to all those i said that blogging is a waste of time... i still think so. haha. anyways, this would be a link between my life and WHOEVER IS READING THIS. haha. now, honestly, i really do not know how long i can sustain this.. but, we'll see. that's all for today actually..
so.... this is

Lim N.H, signing out.