well.. here's my first blog in a bloody long time..
i know i said i only wanna post debateable issues on my blog.. but, screw that motive.. i think right now, i'd rather talk to my blog than anyone else.. so. here it goes..
well.. i asked her out to watch fireworks yesterday.. and she said, see how first k? not sure how things would go. (take note, to my knowledge, i was the first to ask her out among the other guys). but then, when i asked her again just now, she said that her other friend also asked her out.. based on my knowledge, she works on a first come first served kinda system. but screw that.. well, like i said.. i asked her again and she said she didnt know who to go with. how amazing? and i played the 'good guy role' and said that it was her decision and that she is not obliged to go out with me coz im no longer hers anymore.. but, deep down, i think everyone would know how hurt i felt when she actually considered going out with him when i already asked her out.. that aside.. she made her decision.
SHE DECIDED TO GO OUT WITH HIM.
how awesome is that.. i mean.. now his feelings are more important than mine? his presence is more important than mine? she would rather please a friend she just got to know better than to spend the evening with me?
i know.. im not hers anymore.. im not her top priority anymore.. but, why?
she claims he's just a friend..
she claims she has no feelings for him.
but, why is it so important that she meets him every week?
why must she make it a point to go out with him everytime he asks her out?
seriously, besides feeling unimportant right now, i seriously feel like
CRAP. total piece of crap..
sure, you take me in.. i provide you with all your essentials to keep you going.
i give you the strength to get through your hard times.
but, just as i decide to leave because my time is up,
i pass right out and you dont even want to look at me anymore.
i know i shouldnt be feeling this way.. but, seriously, i cant help it.
i really thought she would hold true to her word of, "if you wanna go out with me, you have to make a booking first.. whoever makes the booking first gets top priority."
WHAT ON EARTH IS SHE DOING NOW? GIVING OTHER GUYS THE PRIORITY WHEN I WAS THE ONE WHO 'BOOKED' HER FIRST?
seriously. CRAP.